Let's relax...

在一个风和日丽的下午，一个强匪在一条废弃的小巷抓住了正在回家的喧喧。

强匪：哈哈，你喊破喉咙吧，没有人会来救你的！哈哈！

喧喧：破喉咙！破喉咙！

没有人：我来救你了！

If you don't understand the joke, I feel so sad for you...

What is happening to us?

Have you watched "I am Legend" by Will Smith?

I had seen it on Christmas Day and I loved it. Of course the beautiful and bronze well-built body of Smith's had scored many points! That to-die-for body aside, I loved the show because it set me thinking of what COULD be happening to us in the next 50years...

The show revolves around Smith and his dog, Samantha. It started with a doctor announcing the creation of a new virus which had proven to have cured human beings of cancer. Unfortunately, the same virus which brought hope to mankind destroyed the whole planet and civilisation. The mutated virus changed human to Dracula-like monsters; they could only roam around after sunset and they will be burnt to death when in sun. They are hungry creatures which preys after living things, like a cannibal gone crazy. Smith and his dog are immune to the new virus and the virologist stayed behind in the hometown because he strongly believed that he could fix the situation and bring mankind back to light.

What sets me thinking is the fact that the virus in the show wiped out the whole planet of billions of people, leaving behind only those few millions immune and struggling to stay clear from the night-seekers. The virus was spreaded around through air.

What hit me so hard in the face is the fact that the News and papers had been reporting for a long time of avian flu and bird flu spreading in different parts of the planet. What scares me now is the recall from the news that scientists are warning us every other day that they worry that it could soon mutate and spread from human-to-human and via air. Many people in Indonesia had died from the new virus. Recent newspaper reported that frequently used antibiotics are no longer ineffective in many Singaporeans.

Although I am not someone who is familiar with life science, even my ass thinks the world is really heading for trouble.

What happens in the show could well be our planet in another 50 years. The sad thing is, I would most probably be still around to see this happening...

I met Prof Obbard at my University two weeks back. He was waiting to do his presentation and I couldn't help but to want to talk to him. CL said that he is a well-known man in the Environmental Science domain. He is a very pleasant man and he is so friendly and shared many things with me. If not because I had to finish rushing the minutes for CL, I would really want to sit in his presentation! Prof Obbard introduced me to a documentary by Al Gore - An Inconvenient Truth and he even volunteered to lend me the DVD if I couldn't find it in our library.

I finally laid my hands on the DVD. One of my colleagues bought it. And, for the first time, I looked forward to watching a documentary.

Today 29December2007 Saturday, instead of spending the afternoon shopping in crazy Orchard Road in the post Christmas sale, I spent my afternoon enriching myself with a thought intriguing documentary which I volunteered to watch.



With terrorism constantly blasting over the radio, TV and internet, the attention paid to the health of our planet seems to be just like a lopsided weighing scale. What seems like catastrophes which are hitting other countries seems to be increasing in frequency and coming nearer to our doors and becoming stronger in intensity. Storms are more frequent and stronger, floods are more deadlier and droughts are covering bigger areas. Temperatures are getting higher and don't say you can't feel the difference in Singapore! Our dry period in the middle of the year seems warmer and drier. If you feel that 35degC is hot in Singapore, the highest temperature recorded in recent years is 50degC. And we are not talking about deserts, we are talking about cities getting more heat waves. The ice-bergs are melting and please don't be so naive that Singapore is well sheltered by our neighbours. We are surrounded by sea, my dears. Never before has ice-berg drifted and reach New Zealand and do you know how many of such big ice cubes had fallen from its main iceland? Do you know that there are polar bears who died from drowning because their home (the ice land) had melted and they had to swim for tens of km and still could not find any land in the middle of the ocean?? I laughed at the ridiculous news because how can polar bear die from drowning??? BUT I stopped when I tried to envision what the bear sees: NOTHING except boundary less water.. You die because you get so tired of swimming...

Have you been following the news lately?

I can't stop terrorism from happening because that is really a totally different brainwashed religion which is self-striving from unknown sources. BUT I could start to save the Earth simply by doing my share in the whole campaign. Al Gore's documentary may contain ballooned facts but one thing for sure, all of us could do our part to saving the planet.

I may be one of the few billions of people on earth but I believe my little contribution will go a far way to joining the forces of reversing the TO HELL track that we are heading. Not everyone can be a hero in the movie but ALL of us can be an ambassador to our planet.

Why not let's start by using less plastic bags?? ;)

Shooting Stars

I woke up in the morning after a demoralising dream - I dreamt that my boss sent an email to tell me that I am lousy... - and began my Saturday with my driving lesson at 8am. We roamed quite far, from Eunos to Bedok, to Siglap and then back to Eunos. Mr Toh had originally wanted me to drive him to the petrol station BUT in the end, for reasons unknown to us, we can't find any petrol stations along the route I took, haha.

Anyway, BB brought me to watch 'Shooting Stars', a Cantonese musical at Downtown East yesterday. Both tickets cost $130+ and the ironical part is: I can't understand Cantonese...

It was a musical, featuring 40 golden hits from Canto history-making singers, Danny Tan and Leslie Cheung. Of course, the only reason I was there was because my BB was Leslie's fan and how can a loving gf leaves her darling BB go to the musical alone.. Moreover, he pays! Hahahhahaa!

BB shows appreciation to non-conventional songs, and he likes the songs because the lyrics are meaningful. O, of course S.H.E. is an exception because no one can resist the attraction of the 3 pretty girls right?

Luckily there was translation available and really, the songs had meaningful lyrics not like some of the catchy songs on radio nowadays. What is lao shu ai da mi??? Senseless lyrics.. Guo Mei Mei has a good voice, she ought to do better than that. Agree?

The musical linked up the story of the two shooting stars together with their buddy, Paul, a former famous HK DJ. The fate of the Musketeers was the same - like shooting stars, they ended their stardom life at the peak of their careers. Paul, because of his mounting debts from stock gambling, jumped down from his apartment. Danny, because of his depression, died from an overdose of drugs. Leslie, because of his depression, like his buddy Paul, jumped down from his apartment. Coincidentally, Leslie's death date was April Fool's Day 2003.

Why do some people choose to end their lives in the most silly ways? Perhaps we never did understand the immense amount of pressure that they were undergoing, that's why we would never know why they commit suicide.

FYI, ending your own life is a criminal crime. Although it is your life, you do not own it. I was told that the deceased will be handcuffed. It is such a degrading moment in your life isn't it, though you won't be able to witness the scene.

Every problem has its solution. Like Kok Shen reminded us, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Life is a journey... During the journey, there will be beautiful scenery, pretty flowers, animals and trees, clean and fresh air to breathe. Occasional thunderstorms and showers are nature's way to balance the ecosystem. The journey will seem harder to tread on but when the thunderstorms are over, the air smells even fresher than before, the fields look greener, the chirping of the birds sound happier. The land looks cleaner when the sun shines after the rain. Whether the destination is reached at the end of the journey is a bonus because along the way, new lands are discovered, new friends are made and new routes will be crafted.

Of course life must have a goal but when the goals are not met, we don't have to cry and give ourselves so much pressure isn't it?

I am not trying to advocate that a stree-free society is good. No competition = no improvement in quality of life. But to be overwhelmed by the desire for for more power and money, the reason why the journey of life is started is not aligned anymore.

There must be a reason why God or Deity created mankind isn't it?

Work ---> BIG SIGH

Things aren't very rosy at work recently.

Work had since started to pick up its tempo in October and there I was, finding myself immersed in work again. I still bring things back home to do but it is not endless marking now. Instead, I bring back work which requires me to use my brain to think and strategise.

I was hired by my boss to start a few new projects in my school. The first is Graduate Diploma and Master and the second is workshops. Both projects are new to the university and I am put in charge to administer it and support my dean and programme director to push it to market.

The first GD/Master was scheduled to start in Feb 2008 but due to poor take up rate, it has to be postponed to July 2008. The first workshop which was scheduled to take place next Wednesday and Thursday had to be shelved till March 2008 due to poor take up rate again.

I feel like a jinx.. I am really upset.. I jokingly told my dean that and he said if that is really the case, then he will transfer me to President's Office. I asked why, he said, "Then the university will close down! I can't wait to get out of this place."

What an encouragement =.="

Sometimes, I really wonder if I am a jinx.

When Jason was with me, he kept failing his NTU examinations and had to repeat 2 years of his studies. Afte we broke up, he graduated from NTU.

Now that I am with Pak Kay, his journal and his phD thesis didn't look right and he constantly met obstacles. I don't know if he can complete his phD by end of next year. He worries about it everyday because A*star's scholarship will cease next year.

When I taught, no matter how hard I tried or how hard my students tried, they always fail Physics. What was the problem? I really have no idea but I can't tell them that... Ms Tan, I really work very hard this time, but still I fail. To this, I can't show disappointment but I had to put up my best smile and show them all my remaining love and encourage them to not give up.

I had the best class ever in my 3 years in teaching but they fell to pit bottom just before I left. I took the wager with my ex-Principal, I told him my class can survive without me. And they did, beautifully. But when I wasn't around...

Sigh...

I have a seminar talk next Saturday and because the confirmation was made recently, the publicity is limited. I am scared that no one will turn up for the seminar so much so that I had to resort to emailing my TKGS/TJC/NUS/NIE/BRD friends and almost begging them to support me.

Godson No. 1 once said I sounded more and more like a insurance person, always selling products. BUT, it is my job scope to make sure that my GD/Master programme and workshop sell!! I would use every opportunity to promote my new projects and even my colleagues are making fun of me sometimes. "There, she is selling her programme again..."

Sigh... There must be a way to promote and sell products isn't it? I was told that other universities put aside $1 million or at least $500k aside for marketing. My own university?? A pathetic $20k!! It is only enough for a 1/2 page 1 spot colour advertisement in Straits Times and Business Times for a day.

WHAT SHALL I DO????

Boss says I must learn to accept failures.

Where is my teacher?? I need someone to encourage and show me love now.

我是幸福的

----- I am back by popular demand -----

My Chemistry teacher, Miss Ho, once wrote this for me in my Sec4 autograph.

"Life is like a valley of echoes...."

As far as I can, I try to be nice to the people around me. To my boss cum crush, he is nice to selective people and frankly I find myself lucky because I belong to the category which he likes...

My philosophy may look naive and overly simple, but I ever told him this, "I am nice to people because I want people to be nice to me too."

"Not all people will return the favour. I have learnt this from the hard way..."

To this, I replied with confidence, "It has to start somewhere. When I am nice to people, I am giving them the opportunity to be nice to me!" I thought - life is a valley of echoes, kind actions echoes after kind actions, my teacher taught me that.

Sometimes when I am alone, I will reflect and think of all the people whom I met. From my Secondary school friends and squad mates from Red Cross, JC friends, NUS friends, colleagues from my temporary jobs, fellow teaching colleagues to current new colleagues, I am fortunate that I met kind-hearted people. Being the scattered brain me, I am lucky to have tolerant friends who are willing to bear with my silly mistakes and offer me their guidance and giving me all the patience.

From 'Ou-xiang' and 'Grand Panda' (good friends aka seniors from NUS) and my remote controlled car team mates - they tolerated me blowing up a power supply, tripping all the other power supplies in the same work-bench, blowing up another op-amp during testing and almost causing a short circuit in the bread-board during testing and having me aka walking disaster in their group..

Colleagues, mentors and students from Broadrick... Mr Lim Chi Yan, Ms Sin and Mdm Loe who guided me along while I was nothing but a disillusioned beginning teacher.. giving me the pat on the shoulders to encourage me to move on and instilling more hope and confidence in myself.. Ms Ngiam and Mrs Tan who are like my 2nd and 3rd mummies in my life, listens to me while I teared and poured out all my grievances and sorrows...

My students from my form classes 4EB 2005 and 2007... 4EB 2005 for letting me see the reason why I worked so hard for (I worked hard all because you needed my help more than anyone else)... 4EB 2007 for giving me their blessings when they knew that I was leaving, for telling me "Ms Tan, go for your dream' even though you know it will be a hard time for you to adapt to the new teachers and O levels is less than a few months away... No other encouragement from other people can measure even 10% of the strength of those simple five words "Ms Tan, go for your dream!" For you, I want to soar higher outside...

To me, my birthday is a very special day. Memorable ones include Wan Lee calling in into a radio station and got the deejay to call me on my 21st birthday to wish me Happy Birthday and singing the song to me on air... Wira 4EB 2005, the first student and least expected person to give me a birthday card when I thought that no one in the class remembers it...

Another special birthday celebration happened today. After tuition, Zhenwei, Kok Shen and Zhisheng surprised me with a birthday cake! Elliot and Jiaqi chipped in as well but were not around for the celebration..

It is not the card, the cake nor the voodoo dolls they gave which touched me. It is seriously the thought which mattered and weighed so much. It is their English and Maths O levels examination tomorrow and they made the effort to spend a portion of their revision time with me, the 'traitor teacher' who left them for the pursuit of her dreams.

我是幸福的, 不是吗？

CL told me in his office on Friday that someone from another department approached him and asked if he could release me and allow me to transfer to his/her department. Erm.. my organisation is going through a restructuring phase now... Mmm.. Naturally, I was flattered because I was actually head-hunted although it is within the same organisation. He refused to tell me who that person is but simply told me that he rejected the person with a big fat NO and even told me that if that person called me, I have the right to say no too... That means he likes to work with me right? :) To hear that implied meaning from my boss, it simply lights up my day almost instantly!!!! Oops, did I mention that he said he likes to work with smart people??? Hehe..

He ended off with this," I hope you enjoy working here. You have the right to reject the person."

In my fluttered heart, I was so excited (as usual) and I thought, "Aiya, I won't leave this department otherwise I can't see you leh!!!" OOPS!!! *shy*

"I won't leave because if I go to that department, I think I will become stupid and my bf will scold me. He says I must use my brain when I am working..."

CL laughed..

That same day in the evening, after some discussion in his office, he was smiling when he gave me a task to do," Can you be so kind to write a one page....."

"Huh?? You want me to write an Acad Board paper for you to present to the Board??" I did not even wait for him to finish his sentence.

He laughed heartedly!!! AGAIN... I think I am beginning to know him...

Wa, that was too much to handle in one single day. First he told me that I am popular in the organisation, then he gave me the task to write a proposal to the Academic Board.

"WA LAU EH!!!" These 3 Singlish just simply popped out of my mouth even before I could stopped them... Embarrassed to the core. Why? Cos I actually lost my composure and cool in front of my crush...

"Why? Too challenging is it?"

"Eh.. No.. I try.. I like challenges..." I replied sheepishly, banging my head against the wall mentally because I could not take back those 3 Singlish words!!!

"Good. You said your bf wants you to use your brain, remember?"

WA!!!

Can... No problem.. for you, nothing is a problem... :D

Gee, I am really beginning to like this job. You can say that I am thick-skinned, but thinking of it from a more encouraging perspective, that will mean that CL thinks highly of my abilities and potential isn't it? Because of him, I really feel the strong urge to want to further my studies...

Sigh.. he is going away soon for a university visit in UK. Going to be away for almost two weeks I think... On one hand, I am looking after to that because the boss won't be around.. On the other hand, I can't see him.. sad...

Don't be mistaken. I still love my bf and of course always love him only.. CL is just a office dream/fantasy to keep my mind occupied because he is happily married with two sons.

Life is looking good isn't it? I have people who love and support me. I have people whom I love and care for. I have a person whom I secretly admire... Life has never been that good :p

我是幸福的 :)

O! I forget to add. My driving instructor booked the practical driving test date for me on Saturday. The test will be next March 25.. He said that I improved alot, hehe :p I told him he was the one who motivated me to try harder because he advised me to switch to learn auto car. That is a big blow to my ballooned ego... I told myself this is a self-challenge - I must pass at the first attempt!!!

（：我还是幸福的 :)

人逢喜事，精神爽

I heard from a friend, "Wa. You are the first graduate I know who fail Advanced Theory!"

My ego was bruised and I told myself I MUST PASS!!!

Desmond, I did it!!! So, am I a worthy graduate now??? (^_^)

It was a fruitful Saturday today. My morning started with the Advanced Theory Test and frankly, that irritating test is harder this time. Nevertheless, I PASSED! The sun was shining really high and hot but the perspiration smelt sweet.. :D

I hurried myself for the next appointment - my driving lesson at Eunos MRT carpark. I saw my instructor in a little blue car with a lady inside and instantly I wondered if that was his gf or wife. Haha, but who cares, it is none of my business.

I am not sure if it was the boost of confidence from the Theory Test, Mr Txx told me to drive out of the carpark today!!! Yeah.

"Let's go to Changi and back." he said.

In my heart, I was wondering if I could really make it to Changi and back because the last time he told me that, I ended up in Kebangan with the terrible experience of being stuck between two cars in a single lane...

BUT this time, I really drove to Changi.. not the remote end of Singapore, nor is it Changi @ Changi Airport. I drove to somewhere near Temasek JC and it was cool! Shiok. What kind words can I use? Funny, because I felt no adrenaline after the drive. Perhaps, I do not have the energy to feel the excitement and perhaps I was really concentrating to make sure that the 1.5h today was going to be efficiently spent every single minute.

It was a rewarding experience. For 27 years, I had been driven around, by my father, my bf and my male friends. Never had I ever dreamt that I could drive a Toyota that far in my life. Of course, Mr Txx's hand would sometimes guide me on the steering wheel especially when I made a turn. It felt good that I am learning something, studying for a test, sitting for a test and passing the test. It wasn't easy to study and concentrate and I could empathise with those who are studying for the examinations now. I studied till I really dozed off, my head like the fishing line with the fish at the other end, bobbing up and down.

So, not only did I drive from Eunos MRT station (past that damn busy road) to Temasek JC and back, I did a little of reverse parking and U-turning.

I don't understand why controlling the car seems so simple to all my driver-friends but when it comes to myself doing it, it becomes such a complicated process, involving the hands, the legs and eyes and the brain, all to think and process and make judgement within the split second to move the man-made machine - CAR.

What else am I doing so far?

Junxiong was impressed that I have so much more time to do other things beside my work. I am giving tuition, learning driving and relaxing. I plan to take up an insurance course too. Haha, so that I can sell insurance next time and earn some extra cash.

Mmm... I should start to do my handicrafts too. Wan Lee's birthday is coming soon which also means my birthday is coming too. Should I apply for leave on my birthday? Mmmm..... Pak Kay's birthday is coming end of the year too, about 2 months. I have two DIY projects on hand now.

Looking back, I really had gone and achieved a number of things which I had no time to do in my previous job. Not bad. I even started jogging before I go for tuition during weekday evenings. It was only two runs around the field and my breath was almost taken away from me. The determination to motivate myself to move on struggled sometimes and I always tell myself that I have to finish this exercise without stopping and without walking. The perspiration at the end of the exercise smelt great, I want to leave behind the lazy PL.

Life looks a little more beautiful and eventful now. I see Pak Kay more often, I get to sleep more, and I get to do the things I want to do.. :D

Now, I must sit down and think of how I can earn more cash and save enough to go Europe/USA.. to buy another Gucci or Coach.. Haha... :D

Driving again...

I had my 5th driving lesson last Saturday... After a break of one month, I was back at Eunos MRT and back into that car. Frankly, I was so nervous AGAIN. Sigh...

Seriously, I don't understand why I am learning how to drive a manual car when the technology has evolved and all new cars are automatic cars now. That stupid clutch, is really driving me crazy!!! Simi half clutch, simi biting point!!! What the hell are those things?? Release too fast, the engine will auto reached off and the car will die in the middle of the road... Release too slow, the car doesn't move and the damn car vibrates violently. I really want to pull my hair.

In the end, my teacher said I have to go around in circles at the carpark of Eunos MRT.

He also told me to switch to learn automatic car if I show no improvement by the 10th lesson. Does that mean that I am really that stupid and clumsy that I couldn't control those irritating three pedals!!! I don't want to admit defeat so easily BUT the fact remains that it is really difficult to coordinate them.. To show my never say die spirit, I have decided to go learn driving every Saturday instead of alternate Saturday. Let's hope the money will be well spent...

I want to drive a car!!! Mmmm.. what should my first car be?? *dream...ing...*

Anyway, let's talk about something more interesting and that shall be my driving teacher! Hahahaha, gossip time...

OK, he is Mr T**, a 50+ man. The most attractive thing about him is his eyes... they aren't those big sparkling, long eye-lashes eyes but don't know why, I find his eyes attractive. Haha. Don't worry, I won't fall for old man because he is like my father, young-looking. He is a married man too.

Besides the fact that I was really nervous and clumsy on Saturday, I think he was very distracted too. Seriously, I feel that my 1.5h with him isn't fully utilised at all. Maybe it is because I had not passed my Advanced Theory Test, he is taking his time to teach me really slowly. Of course I need that because I can't handle if he speeds up.

The reason why he was distracted? His gf was quarrelling with him over sms!!!!

Now, how do I know about this??? Mmmm...

Because he lets me read his sms! Hahahaha... Poor teacher, he is Chinese educated I think, and his English is limited, probably limited to the car parts and whatever it is related to the car. So, whenever his sms comes in, he will ask me to translate for him. Of course he knows what the sms meant, but he just want to be sure. Since his English is PTE LTD, I will help him reply his sms to his gf too...

I felt so guilty in the car. Here is a unloyal married man, and I am actually helping him to reply sms to his gf, does that make me a sinful person too? But, it is his affairs and I can't simply change him for another instructor when I am comfortable with his teaching style just because he is two-timing two women.

There is one thing I learnt from him that Saturday. In an affair, the 3rd party woman has everything to lose; to the man, he has the best of both worlds.

That woman was jealous and angry because he broke his promise to accompany her that day. The smses were whiny (2nd lesson: woman, of all age, likes to whine) and he told me to tell her that he is not free on Saturdays and Sundays because he needs to teach and has to drive cab. I was so scared that his replies, typed using my thumbs, will cause a breakup!! He uttered with a full lung of confidence, WON'T BREAK UP. If there was to be a break up, it would have taken place many years ago. What arrogance! I pity his wife and I feel sorry for his gf...

I asked him if he could charge me FOC for my driving lesson and in return, I teach him English! Hahaha.. Of course he said no...

This Saturday is Advanced Theory Test combined with driving lesson in a span of almost 3h. Not sure if I can make it through.. Clutch, brake, accelerator, hand-brake, gear handle, signal, blind spots etc...

Why am I putting myself through this!!!??!

Ans: I want my mother and my bf's mother to stop nagging me to go learn driving.... =.="

Happy Teacher's Day

To all my teacher-friends

I salute you for you are one who continue the fight to bring light to the children's heart

Teaching is a wonderful profession with a huge meaning

I realised it when I left

Happy Teacher's Day

THE CREATION OF THE TEACHER

Author Unknown

The Good Lord was creating teachers. It was His sixth day of 'overtime' and He knew that this was a tremendous responsibility for teachers would touch the lives of so many impressionable young children.

An angel appeared to Him and said, "You are taking a long time to figure this one out."

"Yes," said the Lord, " but have you read the specs on this order?"

TEACHER:

…must stand above all students, yet be on their level

... must be able to do 180 things not connected with the subject being taught

... must run on coffee and leftovers,

... must communicate vital knowledge to all students daily and be right most of the time

... must have more time for others than for herself/himself

... must have a smile that can endure through pay cuts, problematic children, and worried parents

... must go on teaching when parents question every move and others are not supportive

... must have 6 pair of hands.

"Six pair of hands, " said the angel, "that's impossible"

"Well, " said the Lord, " it is not the hands that are the problem. It is the three pairs of eyes that are presenting the most difficulty!"

The angel looked incredulous, " Three pairs of eyes...on a standard model?"

The Lord nodded His head, " One pair can see a student for what he is and not what others have labeled him as. Another pair of eyes is in the back of the teacher's head to see what should not be seen, but what must be known. The eyes in the front are only to look at the child as he/she 'acts out' in order to reflect, " I understand and I still believe in you", without so much as saying a word to the child."

"Lord, " said the angel, " this is a very large project and I think you should work on it tomorrow".

"I can't," said the Lord, " for I have come very close to creating something much like Myself. I have one that comes to work when he/she is sick.....teaches a class of children that do not want to learn....has a special place in his/her heart for children who are not his/her own.....understands the struggles of those who have difficulty....never takes the students for granted..."

The angel looked closely at the model the Lord was creating."It is too soft-hearted, " said the angel.

"Yes," said the Lord, " but also tough, You can not imagine what this teacher can endure or do, if necessary".

"Can this teacher think?" asked the angel."Not only think," said the Lord,. "but reason and compromise."

The angel came closer to have a better look at the model and ran his finger over the teacher's cheek.

"Well, Lord, " said the angel, your job looks fine but there is a leak. I told you that you were putting too much into this model. You can not imagine the stress that will be placed upon the teacher."

The Lord moved in closer and lifted the drop of moisture from the teacher's cheek. It shone and glistened in the light.

"It is not a leak," He said, "It is a tear."

"A tear? What is that?" asked the angel, "What is a tear for?"

The Lord replied with great thought, " It is for the joy and pride of seeing a child accomplish even the smallest task. It is for the loneliness of children who have a hard time to fit in and it is for compassion for the feelings of their parents. It comes from the pain of not being able to reach some children and the disappointment those children feel in themselves. It comes often when a teacher has been with a class for a year and must say good-bye to those students and get ready to welcome a new class."

"My, " said the angel, " The tear thing is a great idea...You are a genius!!"

The Lord looked somber, "I didn't put it there."

Psalms 56:8 (NASB)

My man and we

He is a small build guy, who is tanned and skinny. His initial is TPK, which explains why my email address is tpktpl (please say you know what tpl is...) He is of average height, under 1.7 m (I think) and to some people, you may think that he is short.. I once asked him this question but he replied to say, "When you lean over, the height is just nice, it is more comfortable for you." And we were strolling along the East Coast beach at night :)

Correction - TPK says he is 1.72m.. he is angry when I say he is 1.70m.. for the man's ego, please 'delete' the previous information...

We did not started the usual way that many people do... in fact, before we got together as an item, we had exchanged less than ten sentences face-to-face, never gone out together except for a lunch which a mutual friend arranged. We dated online, via icq and then moved on to msn. He was in UK doing his student exchange programme while I was in Singapore studying for my last exam in NUS.. We were separated by almost 12 h and I would always informed him of how lovely the moon looked like and he would go and see the same moon 12 h later at his side. Because it is expensive to talk via IDD call, I had to scout around for the most worth it IDD calling card, $20 for 300min and this card couldn't be found at most money-changer.. I first found it at Clementi Town Centre and I had to take almost 1.5h to go and buy the card. Luckily, I managed to find another money-changer in Chinatown which sold the same card and the journey took 40min.

We would talk on the phone when the situation permits, ie when I have the card because it is free incoming calls for him at his UK hostel. He could call over but it will be very expensive because one pound is about S$3.00. But when we talked, it will be really late in sg time and it will be really early at his side, just before he go for his morning lectures.

I remembered there was one night when I had a really bad nightmare and I smsed him in the middle of the night. He called and asked me if I was ok and I was so touched... I could feel his concern even through the phone.. that was the first few sweetest things he did...

Then he would sms me every night before he go to sleep so that when I opened my eyes, the first thing I see would be his sms greeting me. They lit up the morning in a bright sunshine way and taking the 50min bus ride to NUS on bus 10 seemed such an enjoyable experience everyday.

When he went around touring in UK, looking for all the Hard Rock Cafes, I would stay by my Nokia 8210 and jumped whenever the sms came in. Because, I told him, your sms is the only way I can be sure you are still safe at the other side of the world. He was travelling isn't it so he had no access to Internet and so no communications at all. I had heard of so many stories of road accidents and I was worried that something will happen to him.

So throughout our 3 months (I think so) of sms dating, when he came back to Singapore, his phone bill was a whopping S$800-900. Haha. But not bad la, he won over a sweet and caring gf, who is yours sincerely... :D

So for the past 4 years, we communicated via sms and msn more than over phone. We don't call each other unless it is really urgent. But, we will always sms each other.

He is a down-to-earth man, very disciplined and very hardworking. In front of me and his sister, he is like a small boy who will 'teh' to us. In front of his mother, he is fierce. In front of his friends, he is a joyful and spontaneous person. Because he belongs to the 'permanent head damage' club (PhD), sometimes he talked to his friends about politics and other highly intellectual topics. But he will still be sweet and make sure that I don't feel bored occasionally by turning and looking at me ;)

He may seemed dull but I know I am really fortunate that he is mine. Of course there are times when I really hate him to the core but most of the time, I still love him.. Haha..

He had a female friend who was bullied by her bf's friends and she called and cried to him. He was so angry with that bf. I asked him what if his friends bullied me too. He said he will protect me and scold them for me... ;)

He brought light sticks once when we went for a holiday. When I came out of shower, I saw the words 'I love U' on the floor, formed by the light sticks...

We even sat in the car, eating Mac nuggets and fries while we watched the rain poured outside at the West Coast MacDonald car park...

There was once when he had to brake his car because of the red light at the traffic camera junction. Due to inertia, I jerked forward and he used his hand to break my jerk. He turned and said sorry... Such a simple gesture, but I was so moved, because I knew he will protect me.

Whenever he drives me home, I will turn and look at him occasionally. Funny, even if it is just a small tilt of my head, he will be able to detect and he will make a funny face at me. He will change to another funny face when I turned over a second time, a third or even a forth... If I sat the the back of the car when his mother is in the front passenger seat, we will steal occasional glances at each other too. Haha.

Last year's Christmas Eve, we were in Orchard with my family. There were many people and with a twist of time and place, we ended up in bus 36. There was the unmistaken jam in Orchard but the bus was empty, only with the few of us plus less than three other people. When the clock struck 12midnight, we saw the cheering from the party crowds outside and inside the bus, it was a peaceful Christmas. We kissed and said Merry Christmas and really, there aren't any better Christmas than last year's. Peaceful and heart-warming, with your loved ones just beside you...

Of course, not to mention, we are the happy parents to many animals. From Phant Phant, Nessie, Hardy, Giraffe, Ah-Bian, Baby, Mao Mao, Xiao Pang, Xiao Fei, Eeyore, Monkey to Xiao Ding Dang, Ding Ding, Dang Dang, Xiao Fei Fei, Da Tou, another Giraffe, Washy, Monty, Smiley, Ohoh, Xiao Mao, Xiao Fen, Nemo. They are taking up so much space on our beds that we are really fighting for space! He even said he wants to build a house for all animals to stay in next time we have a house =.=! speechless!! Our smses are also in animal language... normal people won't understand our lingo ;)

Sometimes, even though we had spent the weekend together, I will still not bear to see him go home. Somehow, time is never enough being with him. Why?

Maybe then that is what people call love.......

To those who are in love, we are the fortunate ones. Cherish our partner and create fond and heart warming memories together. Small gestures and words may look and sound silly at that split second, but when looked from a different perspective, it is another way of him/her telling you he/she loves you and cares about you.

To those who are still looking for love, love comes knocking on your door at weird timing and way. God never leaves out anyone.

Disappointment is an understatement

Sigh............

It is my 4th driving lesson today and for the first time ever since I started driving, I felt disappointed in my performance.

Strictly speaking, this is the second time I felt disappointed with myself in two days.

The first was yesterday. I had a training session which ended around 1130am. 15 minutes later, I arranged to have lunch with Bao Bei. When I put down the phone, CL gave me a piece of work and said he wanted it ready by 3pm. 'But it is almost lunch time and we have a meeting at 2pm. Do I have to go for that meeting?" I asked. He replied,"Yes, you have to be there so that you will understand what is going to happen. Get this done by 2pm then."

Big SIGH... He stole away my precious lunchtime with my Bao Bei and nonchalently said the work can be done very fast. As if lor! You are not the one doing it, of course you will say that it can be done very fast. He instructed me of how to do the work and seriously, I do not know if it is because I did not take the initiative to see the macro view of the project we are doing or is it his fault that he is mixing up me and my colleague's role again. Come on, whatever he told me to do wasn't my scope at all and he told me to do what my colleague was supposed to do!! Then he said, "You must learn to learn things fast." Wa. First blow. I was already trying very hard to put together what he wanted me to do, considering the fact that that was the first time that I set eyes on the document.

In the end, I did not have lunch until 7pm. Did not finished the work too. And, I took it home to do.

Today. 4th driving lesson. The car's engine died 4 times. My instructor said we will drive to Changi but in the end, I drove around Kebangan and Eunos. When there was no car, I could drive the car quite well but when the traffic increased, I panicked. Really panicked. My feet couldn't follow the instructions from the instructor. It started when we were driving in those small lanes in Kebangan. There was this car approaching mine and I thought I was supposed to stop at the side and let it go pass me (we were in a two lanes road outside a row of bungalows and cars were parked along one side so that leaves one lane for two directions of cars to drive past).

Instructor told me to accelerate because he predicted that the approaching car would stop for me to pass. Bastard driver thought that me, L-plate driver, should stop and let him pass. So, in the end, two cars stuck face to face on a single lane. Never mind, we gave in and so I had to reverse the car. Simi another BMW car suddenly appeared and came closer to my car. Imagine, front and back, there were cars... Naturally I panicked. Simi clutch, stop, accelerator, brake, I don't understand and couldn't undertand and simply couldn't follow. Instructor kept on reassured me that it is ok, "Relax. Do it slowly, I am here to help you."

BUT I REALLY COULDN'T FOLLOW WHAT HE SAID.

It got worse when my car suddenly vibrated so violently. O no, O dear.. I don't know what I did wrong, the car wasn't supposed to vibrate at all! What's wrong? Then, the car died! Recall: I am still between two cars, one in front and one at the rear.

Finally, we managed to get out of the mess when he helped me to drive and flee into another lane. Close shave, I couldn't recall what I did during those less than 5 minutes span of time. REALLY. It is like a loss of memory. I can't remember what I did...

We did not drive to Changi. Disappointed.

Then when we were approaching Eunos MRT, the car died the last time again. And this time, when I re-start the engine, I forgot to press the clutch down and the car wasn't reacting the correct way again. Panicked again because there were so many cars around me and I was in the bus lane, and so close to my destination.

Then when I was driving into the car-park, the car almost went up the kerb because I did not turn the steering wheel back in time. SIGH again...

AH!

This is a totally disappointing day!!!!!!!!! Big blow to my ego.

Before I went off, my instructor told me to go home and practise and observe how other people drive. I have been doing that lor... I always look at how Bao Bei drive but he is always so reckless. Then when I asked him why he drive in that way, he won't explain to me in the gentle way, always in that stern voice. I don't like it when he talked to me in a stern tone. I did looked at how my father drive but his car is auto not manual car..

Whatever, anything... I am just so disappointed with myself.

Blackout!

I walked into the office with a full bag of caution. As I dragged my feet closer to the entrance of the office, I tip-toed to steal a peek of whether my boss had come into office.

BIG SIGH!!!! Because he had reported for work earlier than me!!!!!!!

I pretended not to see him in the office although his door is less than 5 steps from my work-desk. I quietly went to the pantry to get my flask of water and again, dreaded the moment that I had to officially start my Monday.

Why must I be so quiet leh????

Because, my boss kinda scolded me over the email during the weekend. BUT, whatever he mentioned in the email wasn't directed at me. I hope he remembered that the mistake he mentioned wasn't done by me but my colleague. I was so good-hearted that I offered to send the email on her behalf because all of us were rushing home last Friday. WA LAU! ALL of them packed their bags so much last Friday lor!!!As if there was fire in the office and they were rushing for their lives... =.=! Left me in the office to pick up the ends, frantically packing up and also praying ultra hard that boss won't finish his meeting so fast.. Luckily, I dashed out before he walked in ah!!!!!!

Anyway, I was scared that I would be scolded by him. Actually, he won't scold.. Remember I said he said he hates to work with stupid people?? I hate people to doubt my intelligence, that is why I tried very hard to make myself work smart andraise smart questions. So stressed leh! More stressed than teaching with Mr J in the classroom.

Mmm.. I used all my cute charm (lol :D) and took great care when I walked into his office. Heng ah! He asked me if I want him to be nice or be angry. Of course nice right? Because it is Monday today hehe :p That was what I told him, hohoho.. I even told him to take a deep breadth and calm down before he start to 'shoot me down'. I can't believe I actually did that! Like not serious right? But, well.. I don't know what came over me.

In the end, I succeeded asking questions which he couldn't answer! Does that mean I am smart finally? Wink wink. I was really blunt, but who cares? He said words are cheap, and things can change every minute. I think he gave up in the end. And, I supposed we had been working on this irritating project for the past I don't know how many weeks, and he could be really tired of always back to square one when he thought we are approaching the end of the project. So, he said he will make the changes himself because it is faster that way rather than he explained to me what to do. Hmp.

I spent the rest of the day helping my colleague (the one who got scolded in the email on Saturday) check her work. Phew. I managed to finish it just before 5.30pm, otherwise it is dumb to stay back on the 1st day of 7th Lunar month to do some really dumb work.

Did I say that half way through the afternoon, my office went black-out? The first word that I uttered, "WIN!"

Luckily I wasn't making amendment on the PC, luckily I wasn't writing email, luckily I wasn't preparing any report... because who would constantly save their work??? I can't imagine what went through my boss' mind when the office had the black-out. He MUST be making the changes in the shared drive and I bet he did not save any work.

The office went to a standstill because practically all of them are dependent on the internet.

Seen Die Hard 4?

What if really one fine day, the internet would to be down? With so many of us all linked up by technology, how will your life be affected by a day without technology?

Anyway, ALL of us dashed off home at 5.30pm sharp again today. We had to leave the office because boss comes back from his meeting otherwise, we can't go home on time...

Highlights of weekend

I am a long-winded person. In order not to flood my own tag board, I shall use this space to reply your responses. Haha.

I extended an invitation to my bf to come over for lunch on Saturday. To add a little colour to our routine weekend, I thought I should cook him a meal. When was the last time I cooked for him??? Mmmm.... I think it was like 4 years ago?? Ya, not long after we became an item. I cooked fried rice for him and my brother too. I thought fried rice should be simple and well, I had cooked that for myself before, so with a 3 person share, it shouldn't be a big problem yea?

BUT!!!

I was terribly wrong. Sigh... I vaguely remembered that the fried rice was pale aka no-colour, which also meant it didn't look appetising at all. True enough, it REALLY was tasteless. Mummy told me to add soy sauce then the rice will look brown and delicious mah.. And, it did taste not bad when I cooked for myself.. But, that fateful day when I tried to impress my bf, I don't know why, but it didn't taste good.

I am a bad bad bad cook :(

Until now, my bf still remember my FIRST cooked meal for him. So, what did he request for lunch last Saturday?? Instant noodles with egg!!!!! WA LAU. An insult to my sincerity to want to spice up our weekend. He said, "First time, so give you a non-challenging task. Hehehehehe." Bish!!!!!

Luckily, the instant noodles wasn't bad. Hahahahaha. Like the Hong Kong's Gong Zai Noodles, minus the pork chop. Kekekeke.

What shall I do next leh?? Maybe I should try to find sushi recipe and also tempura. Cos he loves Japanese food.

Really, all of you who have learnt F&N are better cooks than me. I am a straight F there. Whenever we had cooking sessions during Home Economics in Secondary School, I was always the one to cut and prepare the ingredients while my friend would cook. I took over at the stove only when the teacher was nearby, to put on a show for her.

I used to even have a rehearsal with my family when I cooked for my first bf. My family was the guinea pigs to try my cooking which sometimes was really bad. Poor Papa. Whenever he saw something funny on the table, he always say 'experiment again'. Hohohohohoho...

Have I told you that my VERY FIRST egg was really charred till it was really black through and through?? Hahaha.

Well, I may be very good in conduction, convection & radiation but when it comes to practise with the fire in front of me, it is a totally different story :p

No topic

Anyone wants tuition?

It may not be you. It could be your neighbour, cousin, brother or sister.

I teach Maths and Science, Secondary level.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hahahahaha.
See, I am working hard to save for my wedding, if there is any.

I am starting to give tuition tomorrow. I am so happy and looking forward to it. Finally, I have found another thing to occupy my free time.

Not bad for a change.

I am learning to drive now.. alternate Saturdays. It is fun! But scary at the same time. Too many things to take care of at the same time. Rear mirror, side mirror, front, blind spots, signal lights, clutch, brake, accelerator, hand gear... all at the same time. Although I am looking forward to the next lesson, it is pretty scary to think that I may be hitting the road soon. I had been driving circles in a car park for the last 2 lessons. I have no idea if my instructor will make me do it again next Saturday.

I am giving tuition, something which I enjoy - teach and impart knowledge. No admin work to do, no meetings to attend and no worries about worksheets or exams. I just teach! It is a wonderful moment when I teach. Really looking forward to Sunday. Only one small little complain - I have to sacrifice my sleep in the morning. BUT! It is all for a good course yeah?

Mmm... what should I do next leh? Maybe I will go learn how to knit (hehehehe wink wink) and I will probably go learn Japanese?

Slowly...

I love weekend. Do you?

(I am losing the motivation to continue to write in blog! Kok Shen, what should I do?? Hahaha)

What is money?

The above is it - money.

Just how important is that piece of paper? In this very practical society, very unfortunately, that piece of money determines how much privileges and respect you get from people around you.

I was out with a group of friends last night and we were discussing why some people can just become richer and richer while we always remain as poor as we are. Funny, some people simply have that touch, they are constantly thinking of ways of making their money generate more money and it seems effortless? I don't know. How I envy them sometimes, especially when I want to go for tour, I always become so broke after the trip.

I had been thinking of this question very frequently these few days: How important is money?

My godson ever asked me this very philosophical question: Why did mankind invent money?

Just how important is money? I wonder.

There are people around me who are working hard (like me) to earn money. Day in, day out, we are looking forward to our pay day. We are constantly checking our bank account to see how much the balance is and always telling ourselves "cannot shop anymore". In the end, when we see the SALE sign, wow!!! Who say cannot shop?? Must grab ah.. =.=" Thus, the wallet is always tight at the end of the month and we hate it the most when the postman or e-bill comes to chase us for payment.

Second, there are people who works hard for their dreams but get paid little for the pursuit of it. But, they are not tired. They strive harder to prove to the rest that it is a dream worth realising and hugging to the hope that one fine day, their dream will make it big.

Third, there are people who just need to sit at home and money will pour into their wallets. Arg! How I love and hate this type of people.

Fourth, there are people who have people working for them. Quoted from Jun Fu, it is a zero dollar equation (his own theory). They earn millions by making the people who worked for them work harder but pay than lesser than they are worth. Smart right?

Whatever it is, I had been trying to ask my mother and my bf for their opinion on the feasibility of me changing to event management. The first thing they asked: How is the pay? When I told them that it will be lesser than what I am earning now(actually much much less) and in addition, it will be long hours. My mother asked me, "Why is it that other people earn more when they change job and you get lesser and lesser? When will you get your first 3k?" My bf shut me up with, "Do you know that fresh graduates are earning 3.3k now? If they give you less than 2.5, then your 3 years of experience in teaching is equivalent to nothing."

How hurting those comments can be, you can never imagine. My heart broke and sank when both of my dearest people threw me such a wet blanket. I was praying with the thinnest strand of hope that maybe they will give me the support and tell me to go ahead.

Money is really the issue here.
I feel the stress and expectation that I need to earn 3k before I reach 30. Damn. This is such a cruel place. Just when I thought I could (MAYBE) go for a more challenging job and really test out my limits and what I want, I got pulled back to reality.

SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH......

Anyway, I am going to start tuition this Sunday. At least that will be an extra income (not subjected to CPF and tax - please don't tell IRAS: I am already paying 500+ of tax lor!!). Anyone wants tuition? I teach Maths and Science but my charges are high. Enquiries, please call or sms me.

I am dead serious.

A wonderful weekend

Hohohohohohohoohohohohohoohohohohohohoohohoho

..........I love you, I miss you, I love you, I miss you.........
..........I love you, I miss you, I love you, I miss you.........
..........I love you, I miss you, I love you, I miss you.........
..........I love you, I miss you, I love you, I miss you.........
..........I love you, I miss you, I love you, I miss you.........
..........I love you, I miss you, I love you, I miss you.........
..........I love you, I miss you, I love you, I miss you.........
..........I love you, I miss you, I love you, I miss you.........
..........I love you, I miss you, I love you, I miss you.........
..........I love you, I miss you, I love you, I miss you.........

Hehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehhehehehehehehe

Blue Thursday

I used to look forward to Thursday because Friday will be the next day and I can have my weekend to relax....

I don't know why but I feel extremely blue this morning. Probably it is because of the rain.. well.. maybe not, I don't know.

A colleague from the next department had left the company yesterday and is starting her new work today. I went out with WL last night and I slept at 1am. So, basically I am pretty tired now.

People had been asking me how is my new job, do I like it, how are you coping, do I enjoy it etc since the first day I stepped in. I don't know if that is the way they show concern and willingness to help newbies or is it that they are preparing me for the storm ahead.

Actually, I am feeling very uncomfortable with my current situation now. You know, just plain uncomfortable feeling which you can't really point your finger to the source of it.

Besides the fact that I can rest after work now (no need to mark worksheets anymore), during the day, the administration work that I am doing seems unclear and directionless and well, I feel meaningless. Maybe it is because I have not been given the bulk of the workload yet but I can't help myself comparing what I used to do and what I am doing now. Human beings are funny creatures. Uncle J's words kept popping into my mind. Come to think about it, his words are not always rubbish. You probably will need to reflect on what he said and well, maybe less than 50% of his advice is useful in the end.

I had promised myself that I would not return to school as a full-time teacher, which means I may consider being an adjunct teacher.

I had been urging myself to give myself more time to adapt to the new job, at least till I get my bonus beginning of next year (hehe..)

I felt very inspired by WL's new work! She is into event management and that was what I had wanted to do. In this new job, she gets to go overseas because the bulk of her company's business is international. I really envy her and I asked myself if I want that type of lifestyle..

Consider this:
1) I have NO experience at all for this industry...
2) The company seems extremely fast-paced, which in a way, is a little opposite of my current company. I can't stand the waiting time to get information from another person!
3) It will be like teaching, no free time after work, no fixed knock off time, no weekends maybe, little sleep when events are near - which also means it will be energy sapping
4) The big factor: PAY. Definitely, I would not be drawing the income that I am getting now.
5) It doesn't help when 30 is near the corner. It doesn't help when the hectic nature of the job means I would be seeing less of my bf and how can we ever find time to settle down?
6) Can energy sapping job be a long-termed committment job? I mean, if I do not like it and prefers to have a more stable job, I would really be 30 or beyond. Age is a big enemy. No experience, old female candidate - who would want to hire me in the end?

BUT, the lure is tempting.....

DAMN IT! Give us till next year ba... In the meantime, what else can I do besides to bury the urge and probably TRY VERY HARD to stay positive in the new job?

Big SIGH....

Consequences of being big mouth

Just when the computer clock hit 5.40pm on Tuesday evening, my boss came out and asked my colleague how was the progress of the work he told her to do... She said it wasn't ready and he started to question her... "If you can't do it alone, you should have asked for help early." And, the next thing I knew, "Pau Ling, can you please help ......"

SIAN! =.=" because I was just that one second away to clicking that START button on the monitor screen and shutting down the computer!

I can't say I can't help my colleague right? I mean, I am still damn new and I have to be a team player isn't it? So, I have to hide my inner frustrations and reply, "Sure, no problem! How can I help?" Furthermore, I had to put on a big bright TPL signature smile :D

So, I said bye bye to my 'boring' office life and started helping my colleague do her work, halfing her present workload. I always think back of what my bf asked me, "Why do they need a graduate to do such admin work?" Good question asked but I don't know the answer. So, I did the manual checking of tonnes of excel spread sheet data.. Did that to the extent that I really felt like tearing the hardcopy excel spread sheets into bits and pieces.

The next time someone told you during an interview that the work is very challenging, don't be as naive as me to believe that person wholeheartedly. To a certain extent, this tedious checking is challenging because I had stopped so many times to ask myself aloud, "Isn't there a better way to do this?" Till now, the answer had not been found and so I continued the mindless checking... Until, my boss got impatient with the people who input the data and got everyone to sit down and trashed out all the differences. Well, that meeting was 4 hours long! When the meeting in brd was a simply waste of my precious afternoon, the meeting here is always like a learning and eye-opening experience. You want to see how adults brainstorm their intelligence and outtalk each other, look forward to the working world just make sure you stay out of trouble.

Anyway, our boss treated us to a lunch at the Turf City on Thursday. That was the most agonising lunch I had ever had so far. It was to formally welcome the new-comers to the department. The first new-comer started introducing himself like this, "I would like to introduce you to open source programming and suggest that we meet for an hour each week so that I can tell you the beauty of this..." I was like HUH!! Simi open source programming??! This is so computer engineering lor, come on, get a life! If you don't want a life, stay away from me... =.=!

Then the food came... first dish - shark's fins soup. The waitress helped to ladle out the soup into small bowls and the natural reaction after she had done that was to? Take the biggest bowl and start eating and fight for the vinegar and pepper right? Alright, everyone at the table weren't normal because from the first dish till the last dish, the food had to sit there for at least 5 min before anyone took the move to start taking their share! I was like, HELLO, scholars. I know all of you are intellects, but it is lunch time and I am hungry. Can't anyone please start eating?? Because I am new and I am a 'demure & resolute' woman (made in TKGS), I have to behave like a well-behaved girl and wait for the seniors to start... Unbearable. Can you imagine how long that big bowl of baked crabs sat on the table?? At least 10min lor!!! And I was like, the crab is so delicious, yum yum, but you can only take one piece ok? Why??

Because you can't behave like a childish little girl who is out with your Daddy and Mummy and start to grab at every piece of crab you like... Restrain.. Take one only..

And my boss actually said, "Lunch is good. We really should have more department lunches."

I was like, "Please! A lunch with scholars talking about open source programming, journal papers by other psychologists etc - Sorry, it is just not my cup of tea."

Plus, the constant effort to always behave and do things smart because my boss said " I hate working with stupid people" and his constant "that clown did this... that..." All these aren't helping at all.

Challenging?

Yes! Because I have to dig really hard for the intelligent TPL and proved to him that HEY! You have got a smart employee here ;)