TGIF

What is TGIF? Tsk tsk tsk... Thank God It's Friday!!!!

Finally the end of this tiring week is here. I was determined to keep myself happy today and so, the whole day I smiled to everyone.

Perhaps the whole series of events had taken its toll on me.

First email in the day was from CL, sent at 12.04am the previous night. It was the justification email for my promotion. He said he took half an hour to write it, gee, I am touched... Because the chance of me getting a two grades jump is slim, perhaps that is why he had to really scratch his head to justify his recommendation.

ShL said that she wants to give CL a treat, hehe... I want to chip in too. I think I owed him more than just a meal.

Yesterday he was joking over lunch that when he looked through all the CVs, he was shocked to see mine. His exact words - it is the ugliest! -.-" By some Almighty intervention, my pdf file became a txt file and all my formatting was gone. No pictures, no proper alighnment. He thought that the applicant must be very bold to send in such lousy CV. *Faint* And so, he said, he will look out for bad formatting in the next recruitment for the new administration executive.

O well, maybe it is Friday. Everyone seem to be in happy mood. Even G commented that CL was in good mood because he did not reprimand her today when she discovered that the lab allocation was in a terrible and messy state. For some courses, lab sessions were underbooked by the Heads and some were overbooked. She was still around when I left office at 7.20pm. Poor thing..

So yup! That wraps up the whole hell of exciting events this week.

Tomorrow is Orientation Day! Yeah!!! I am looking forward to it... Please please pray that it will be a smooth and fun day tomorrow! :)

I am the Unbeatable!

This week crawled too slowly... I am tired.

The day started with CL meeting all the four of us: ShL, L, G and myself. We were due to receive our annual letter which tells us how much is our performance bonus, whether there is promotion and if there is increment. I am not expecting much, since everything will just be pro-rated (I am just half year old when they closed the accounts).

CL started by saying he will be holding back the VIP letter. Reason: HR left out the Deans when they opened the window period for nominee to be promoted last year!
Tell me it is a funny joke please!

How can HR make such a silly mistake? So you had conveniently left out the entire four schools of academic staff and admin support when you are in the midst of the promotion excercise? Come on, the University is not that big. With no schools, you think you can be sitting there and you have a work to do?

Anyway, HR is re-doing the promotion exercise for the schools and that is why we would not be able to see the letters yet. He talked to us in private and well, guess what? He told me he had intended to recommend me for a 2-grade jump upwards (simple English - promote two levels up) and had given me a A for my appraisal! Wa! Best news in three years of working life. However, the management felt that a 2-grade jump is too much and I had to settle for a single jump only, which means I will be Senior Executive instead of Manager. I was also one of the few who had the appraisal grade marked downwards cos there are only 8 people who got A and I am not in the top 8 list.

Of course the heart ached for a while. But, to get this far and with this kind of achievement and the support from my boss, I think it is more than enough. I am not greedy. I can slogged for you as long as I know why I am working so hard for. "... I believed you will agree with me that ShL and Pau Ling are head and shoulders above the admin managers..." This sentence is more than enough to melt the heart. Anyway, I told CL what I felt and I am blessed that he understood me and showed the willingness to support me.

As expected, Betty did not turn up at 9am today. Instead she called me at 9.40am and innocently asked me if I had read the email and if I could explain the whole situation to her. What the fuck! Don't act innocent in front of me. You wrongly accused me of not doing my share of work and did not even apologise at all. And you still expect me to treat it as if it is no big deal. For the first time here, I flared up. I could have been louder if she was there in person in front of me.

Determined to put that behind me, I went to Merrill Lynch with CL and Prof Chay. The meeting was so-so but the lunch was fun. Of course, it is because Ms Tan was there to lighten the atmosphere again. I made both of them play a word-search puzzle and compete with each other. Haha. Obviously the Dean had to win the game right? Hohohoho... It was an enjoyable lunch.

How I wish this week can be over soon... Not sure if there will be any confrontation or email battle again tomorrow. Saturday is our School's Orientation Day and I was sabotaged by my Dean to put up games for the students to play in the LT. I was initially looking forward to it. It will be my first time to handle close to 400 people and it will definitely be very fun. For the first time, I can show to other people that I am not just a tiny little girl, I am someone who is very capable... I challenged the system and the way others are doing things because I bother to use my energy to make the difference.

To my young blog-supporters: Thank you for your concern, Ms Tan won't fall so easily. Pardon me for using the F*** two times - this is the most appropriate situation to use that word so beautifully without myself feeling guilty of using it.

Another day which ended with a heavy heart

The day started with a small tinge of reluctance to go to work after yesterday's episode of Angel Falling from Heaven. The mood forecast was "cloudy with occasional sunshine".

Nevertheless, the meeting before lunch went well and CL invited me to join them for lunch... Lunch was fun because I was there to lighten up the mood and to regulate the dry, serious topic with interesting and animated content. I did not managed to do much work today because we had to rush off to TTSH for another meeting.

The meeting went smoothly except for a tiny hiccup and it ended before 5.30pm. I can go home early, yeah!

When I checked the handphone, I saw CL's sms to tell me to call him when the meeting was over. For the first time, my boss smsed me to call him back - that must mean something really urgent happened.

Guess what?

He said Betty (who is heading one of the department under Zenon) called him to say that I had missed out a lecturer's address and they could not send out the contract to him in time. I thought WHAT THE FUCK! On Monday, I called Mavis (who is under Betty) and asked her why there is a missing contract. She said she did not know that there was a contract to be sent to Hong Kong and she had overlooked it. She had assumed that all contracts are Singapore-based and could have probably sent it out as a local mail. Fine! Very good... quickly, we decided to courier the contract over to the lecturer and I even wrote the email to apologise to the lecturer.

Now her boss turned the table around and said that I WAS THE ONE WHO MISSED OUT THE HONG KONG LECTURER.

Excellent job!

Your department screwed up my contracts and you accused me of not giving you adequate information? You are the best liar in the whole world.

CL said he did not believe Betty and asked me if I want to call her then or confront her tomorrow. "Tomorrow, cos I have no mood to talk to her now." I was that pissed off!

From Novena to Paya Lebar to my home, my heart never weighed so heavy. First, you want to take away what I had done and expects me to welcome your administration support with grace. When I handed over the job to you, you messed up the sequence and pulled me down into water, expecting me to drown with you. All the way home, I was praying to God to help me find the email which I had sent to Betty's boss to tell him to follow up. I know I did not make that silly mistake but I need BLACK AND WHITE evidence to redeem myself.

I am an easy-going person but I don't like when people accuse me of not doing my work well when obviously the person who screwed the process is not me. So, don't step on my tail.

I thank God that I found the email in my 'sent' box. I forwarded the email to CL and said I want to sue someone for defamation and asked if he wanted to chip in. In the email, I had clearly highlighted to Betty's boss that there was a HK address and there were two vacant slots.

Your honour, I rest my case.

The best part is, CL and Chay had confirmed that they will chip in money!!! Haha... The terrific part is, CL forwarded the email to Betty with cc to Provost and slapped her back in the face that she had not gotten her facts right and had wrongly accused Yours Sincerely. He expects disciplinary action to be taken and if she is unhappy, she is always welcome to come to his office tomorrow.

She won't come, I can bet till my last cent.

Cos she tried too hard to want to cover up her own ass and to think, I had treated her like a friend.

This is a scary place...

DON'T EVER DELETE ANY EMAILS.

Painful Monday followed by 'a bad fall from Heavens" Tuesday

First Monday of 2008 kicked off with a bad stomachache. It was so bad that I was struggling to stay conscious. The pain was unbearable and I could feel all the blood concentrated at my stomach. I felt cold and I knew I looked pale. If I don't get to the toilet fast, I will probably faint at the taxi stand at Paya Lebar MRT station.

But the nearest toilet was so far away... I won't make it there especially when the morning crowd was a mad rushing herd of men and women. I turned to look for Victor. Luckily he was there! I must look really ugly because he got worried and asked me if I am alright. Although quite nerdy, he accompanied me like a gentleman to the toilet even though the staff bus came at the exact moment we left the taxi stand.

Now I knew what they meant by "the face as pale as a sheet of paper", I was that bad.

By the time we got to work, (cab fare was $21.20!!! - cannot claim) I was all weak and limp. No strength at all, plus stomach still felt hollow.

The first email I saw: a accusation email from SL to tell me to not try to act smart and should always check with her first before I sent email to overseas partners. Too weak to think, I simply forwarded the email to CL and added one sentence "Got shot" by SL again...

The next thing I know, CL stormed out of his room and starting cursing SL's department for attempting to complicate things. Limp, I just listened to him obediently and waited for his final verdict "we won't use the OUUK material". I thought, whatever you say... Then he channelled the email back and said I was merely acting on his demand and he had a different discussion and agreement with the OUUK people when he was in UK last November. I was glad that I had a shield although the sword had done its harm.

I slowly regained my energy and after lunch, I was feeling all chirpy again. I went to ask CL about the ASUS eee PC. I told him that L and GT will be attending my course and hence getting the PC free. ShL and myself won't be able to attend the course because there would be no one to cover duty. I asked him if I could get the PC and he said he will give it to me!! WOW, he remembered the promise he made... I got so high, I asked him at least 4x if he was joking and I even volunteered to record down what he said. Haha. He said I just had to find out how he could make the payment, he will write the cheque and I will get my PC. Yeah! But, he said if he is giving me one, it means he has to give another person one too. Of course, ShL will say yes right?? Wa, a $500 sleek laptop, even if I am not going to use it, I can always encash it lor!

However GT changed her mind about going to the course, so myself and ShL got the free PC, GT should get one from CL too right? I asked him but he replied with a fat NO. I was stunned. HUh??! He said he treats the PC like a gift to us for our good performance and he knows who is performing and who isn't... Simple English, he was trying to say GT had not been performing... Me, ShL and L decided not to tell GT about it lest she got upset... And so, my first Monday of 2008 ended on a high note, dreaming and looking forward to receive my ASUS eee PC.
____________________________________________________________________

First Tuesday morning of 2008 started with another email from Z, ally of SL. CL's mood was still unpredictable but I did not get the chance to talk to him at all the whole morning. The day was totally destroyed after lunch when he finally came back to his room and had the time to read the tens of emails in the inbox. He came out and asked me if I had seen Z's email and I replied with a simple "Ya." The rest of the next five min was the point when the lightning struck me.

CL "blew" up and said that Z and SL are going to set up a Graduate Studies Department which will be taking over ALL the work that I had started and going to recruit their own people to do the rest of the setup work. He walked into Chay's room and I was feeling like a total stranger for the first time. CL was really mad and upset that Z and SL had brushed my efforts aside. He said he had spoken to Provost and he was told to submit a proposal together with Chay to inform the Acad Board of the need for the School to handle our own postgraduate programmes and workshops. To my astonishment, CL said Z had gone under table and together with Z's boss, they had decided to set up that dumb Graduate Studies Department which SL will head!

Tell me how interesting private university works! "Great job" here. SL, I "love" you so much!

In simple English, this means that all the hard work I had put in for the past 6 months will be handed over to SL when her department got filled up. I will be like the transition middle person...

For six months, I had really enjoyed doing what I was doing here. For six months, I felt ownership of what will materialise in July 2008. Now, everything will be taken away from me. What's left? I don't know..

I jokingly told CL and Chay that they don't like me, so they are taking everything away from me.. I should go and find another job. What a dry self-mockery joke. Can you feel the slow descend from Heavens to Disappointment?

CL looked at me and firmed said, "It is not your fault, you are not wrong and you did not do anything wrong. It has nothing to do with you."

Chay asked, "Then SL will take Pau Ling into her department?"

"NO, over my dead body. She is not going anywhere. If she goes, all the three of us go together and look for jobs somewhere else." CL said with a conviction.

Shocked was too mild to use. In fact, he had overly-flattered me. He turned and said,"Aren't you touched? You go, we go together with you!" The hat was too big for me... please, give me a smaller one..

And then he stormed off for the meeting with President, telling Chay before he left that he is going to look for Provost after the meeting to give him some shelling...

Hello, Provost is your boss leh...

I should feel touched but I don't. In fact, despair had transformed into disappointment and very soon, it will turn into resignation to fate. I really loved what I am doing now, don't snatch it away from me. Who will hear me? No one. Can CL and Chay win the case? I doubt it. Not because they won't fight for it but rather the university is too rigid to welcome new changes. I had willingly spent my nights and sometimes Saturdays clearing up the work and tying the loose ends. I did all the setup, networking, connections. What has Z and SL done? Nothing, except to sit in offices, attend stupid meetings with stupid staff to do things that were obsolete. Who goes out to build bridges to make the School and university look more visible? US. Who are they to claim the credits and make proposed plans to support and continue the initiative? What do they know? They only know what is B&W? Emails tell me to do this, I execute it. Did they use brains? No, they only know how to pool people together to have meeting to put out the "fire" their own departments create. In the end, still have to call me to confirm. Why can't they call the Dean and Head of Programmes themselves? They are scared. If scared, then don't do it in the first place! Why make me feel like a disposable link?

Damn, I feel so lousy.

Happy 2008

For the first time, I am relaxing on the 1Jan...

Who doesn't dread 1Jan when you have to head back to school on 2Jan? After spending 6 years in primary school, 4 years in secondary school, 2 years in junior college, 4 years in University, 1 year in NIE and 3 years in BRD, take away the 6 months break after A levels, TODAY is the first time I do not have to report back to school anymore!!! Wohoo!!!

One word: SHIOK !!! :D

Time flew and it is another new year today.

2007... what have I done? In short, I parted from my first job, leaving behind hundreds of supporters in pursuit of my dream of seeing the world outside of school. I did not exactly landed in a world class fantastic job but I found a new boss who is very dynamic and knowledgeable, and who has high expectations. I still do work from home sometimes but at a more relaxing pace and with renewed passion and focus. I have more personal time and finally took up driving lesson. I got myself two Godsons - No. 1 = Davip aka naughty boy and No. 2 = Zhen Wei aka good boy.

2008... I forecast it to be a very challenging year. Aileen finally get to celebrate her birthday on 29Feb again, hoho. The projects which I am taking charge of are going to take off soon and whether I stay on target at my new workplace, it really depends on how well the projects will roll out. It is nervousness mixed with anxiety and excitement. I am going to take my practical driving test in May.

Yeap, that is by far, the few big projects which I can foresee happening in the year of the cute Mouse.

Another 365 days to plan for... Have you planned yours? Guess my naughty boy knows me quite well... he guessed it bingo when I told him my new year resolution is a secret... (means I have not thought about it last night :p)

Hopefully, the following can be fulfilled in the next 366 days (this is a leap year, folks)
1. Pass practical driving test
2. Projects take off well
3. Broadrician of the Year from 4EB 2007, Top scorer from 4EB 2007
4. To maintain my weight and waistline...
5. Make my savings grow, groW, grOW, gROW, GROW
6. Learn how to knit
7. Learn how to swim
8. Make my BaoBei loves me more, morE, moRE, mORE, MORE... wahahahahaha

Happy New Year to my blog-supporters. May the 366 days bring all of us lots of good luck, happiness, love, peace, joy and wealth.

Not to forget, let's make the world a better place for us, our next generation, our next next generation and on and on and on to live in.