Work ---> BIG SIGH

Things aren't very rosy at work recently.

Work had since started to pick up its tempo in October and there I was, finding myself immersed in work again. I still bring things back home to do but it is not endless marking now. Instead, I bring back work which requires me to use my brain to think and strategise.

I was hired by my boss to start a few new projects in my school. The first is Graduate Diploma and Master and the second is workshops. Both projects are new to the university and I am put in charge to administer it and support my dean and programme director to push it to market.

The first GD/Master was scheduled to start in Feb 2008 but due to poor take up rate, it has to be postponed to July 2008. The first workshop which was scheduled to take place next Wednesday and Thursday had to be shelved till March 2008 due to poor take up rate again.

I feel like a jinx.. I am really upset.. I jokingly told my dean that and he said if that is really the case, then he will transfer me to President's Office. I asked why, he said, "Then the university will close down! I can't wait to get out of this place."

What an encouragement =.="

Sometimes, I really wonder if I am a jinx.

When Jason was with me, he kept failing his NTU examinations and had to repeat 2 years of his studies. Afte we broke up, he graduated from NTU.

Now that I am with Pak Kay, his journal and his phD thesis didn't look right and he constantly met obstacles. I don't know if he can complete his phD by end of next year. He worries about it everyday because A*star's scholarship will cease next year.

When I taught, no matter how hard I tried or how hard my students tried, they always fail Physics. What was the problem? I really have no idea but I can't tell them that... Ms Tan, I really work very hard this time, but still I fail. To this, I can't show disappointment but I had to put up my best smile and show them all my remaining love and encourage them to not give up.

I had the best class ever in my 3 years in teaching but they fell to pit bottom just before I left. I took the wager with my ex-Principal, I told him my class can survive without me. And they did, beautifully. But when I wasn't around...

Sigh...

I have a seminar talk next Saturday and because the confirmation was made recently, the publicity is limited. I am scared that no one will turn up for the seminar so much so that I had to resort to emailing my TKGS/TJC/NUS/NIE/BRD friends and almost begging them to support me.

Godson No. 1 once said I sounded more and more like a insurance person, always selling products. BUT, it is my job scope to make sure that my GD/Master programme and workshop sell!! I would use every opportunity to promote my new projects and even my colleagues are making fun of me sometimes. "There, she is selling her programme again..."

Sigh... There must be a way to promote and sell products isn't it? I was told that other universities put aside $1 million or at least $500k aside for marketing. My own university?? A pathetic $20k!! It is only enough for a 1/2 page 1 spot colour advertisement in Straits Times and Business Times for a day.

WHAT SHALL I DO????

Boss says I must learn to accept failures.

Where is my teacher?? I need someone to encourage and show me love now.