我是幸福的

----- I am back by popular demand -----

My Chemistry teacher, Miss Ho, once wrote this for me in my Sec4 autograph.

"Life is like a valley of echoes...."

As far as I can, I try to be nice to the people around me. To my boss cum crush, he is nice to selective people and frankly I find myself lucky because I belong to the category which he likes...

My philosophy may look naive and overly simple, but I ever told him this, "I am nice to people because I want people to be nice to me too."

"Not all people will return the favour. I have learnt this from the hard way..."

To this, I replied with confidence, "It has to start somewhere. When I am nice to people, I am giving them the opportunity to be nice to me!" I thought - life is a valley of echoes, kind actions echoes after kind actions, my teacher taught me that.

Sometimes when I am alone, I will reflect and think of all the people whom I met. From my Secondary school friends and squad mates from Red Cross, JC friends, NUS friends, colleagues from my temporary jobs, fellow teaching colleagues to current new colleagues, I am fortunate that I met kind-hearted people. Being the scattered brain me, I am lucky to have tolerant friends who are willing to bear with my silly mistakes and offer me their guidance and giving me all the patience.

From 'Ou-xiang' and 'Grand Panda' (good friends aka seniors from NUS) and my remote controlled car team mates - they tolerated me blowing up a power supply, tripping all the other power supplies in the same work-bench, blowing up another op-amp during testing and almost causing a short circuit in the bread-board during testing and having me aka walking disaster in their group..

Colleagues, mentors and students from Broadrick... Mr Lim Chi Yan, Ms Sin and Mdm Loe who guided me along while I was nothing but a disillusioned beginning teacher.. giving me the pat on the shoulders to encourage me to move on and instilling more hope and confidence in myself.. Ms Ngiam and Mrs Tan who are like my 2nd and 3rd mummies in my life, listens to me while I teared and poured out all my grievances and sorrows...

My students from my form classes 4EB 2005 and 2007... 4EB 2005 for letting me see the reason why I worked so hard for (I worked hard all because you needed my help more than anyone else)... 4EB 2007 for giving me their blessings when they knew that I was leaving, for telling me "Ms Tan, go for your dream' even though you know it will be a hard time for you to adapt to the new teachers and O levels is less than a few months away... No other encouragement from other people can measure even 10% of the strength of those simple five words "Ms Tan, go for your dream!" For you, I want to soar higher outside...

To me, my birthday is a very special day. Memorable ones include Wan Lee calling in into a radio station and got the deejay to call me on my 21st birthday to wish me Happy Birthday and singing the song to me on air... Wira 4EB 2005, the first student and least expected person to give me a birthday card when I thought that no one in the class remembers it...

Another special birthday celebration happened today. After tuition, Zhenwei, Kok Shen and Zhisheng surprised me with a birthday cake! Elliot and Jiaqi chipped in as well but were not around for the celebration..

It is not the card, the cake nor the voodoo dolls they gave which touched me. It is seriously the thought which mattered and weighed so much. It is their English and Maths O levels examination tomorrow and they made the effort to spend a portion of their revision time with me, the 'traitor teacher' who left them for the pursuit of her dreams.

我是幸福的, 不是吗？

CL told me in his office on Friday that someone from another department approached him and asked if he could release me and allow me to transfer to his/her department. Erm.. my organisation is going through a restructuring phase now... Mmm.. Naturally, I was flattered because I was actually head-hunted although it is within the same organisation. He refused to tell me who that person is but simply told me that he rejected the person with a big fat NO and even told me that if that person called me, I have the right to say no too... That means he likes to work with me right? :) To hear that implied meaning from my boss, it simply lights up my day almost instantly!!!! Oops, did I mention that he said he likes to work with smart people??? Hehe..

He ended off with this," I hope you enjoy working here. You have the right to reject the person."

In my fluttered heart, I was so excited (as usual) and I thought, "Aiya, I won't leave this department otherwise I can't see you leh!!!" OOPS!!! *shy*

"I won't leave because if I go to that department, I think I will become stupid and my bf will scold me. He says I must use my brain when I am working..."

CL laughed..

That same day in the evening, after some discussion in his office, he was smiling when he gave me a task to do," Can you be so kind to write a one page....."

"Huh?? You want me to write an Acad Board paper for you to present to the Board??" I did not even wait for him to finish his sentence.

He laughed heartedly!!! AGAIN... I think I am beginning to know him...

Wa, that was too much to handle in one single day. First he told me that I am popular in the organisation, then he gave me the task to write a proposal to the Academic Board.

"WA LAU EH!!!" These 3 Singlish just simply popped out of my mouth even before I could stopped them... Embarrassed to the core. Why? Cos I actually lost my composure and cool in front of my crush...

"Why? Too challenging is it?"

"Eh.. No.. I try.. I like challenges..." I replied sheepishly, banging my head against the wall mentally because I could not take back those 3 Singlish words!!!

"Good. You said your bf wants you to use your brain, remember?"

WA!!!

Can... No problem.. for you, nothing is a problem... :D

Gee, I am really beginning to like this job. You can say that I am thick-skinned, but thinking of it from a more encouraging perspective, that will mean that CL thinks highly of my abilities and potential isn't it? Because of him, I really feel the strong urge to want to further my studies...

Sigh.. he is going away soon for a university visit in UK. Going to be away for almost two weeks I think... On one hand, I am looking after to that because the boss won't be around.. On the other hand, I can't see him.. sad...

Don't be mistaken. I still love my bf and of course always love him only.. CL is just a office dream/fantasy to keep my mind occupied because he is happily married with two sons.

Life is looking good isn't it? I have people who love and support me. I have people whom I love and care for. I have a person whom I secretly admire... Life has never been that good :p

我是幸福的 :)

O! I forget to add. My driving instructor booked the practical driving test date for me on Saturday. The test will be next March 25.. He said that I improved alot, hehe :p I told him he was the one who motivated me to try harder because he advised me to switch to learn auto car. That is a big blow to my ballooned ego... I told myself this is a self-challenge - I must pass at the first attempt!!!

（：我还是幸福的 :)