1st January 2009

Hey, hey, there! I am back from dormant state.... Not sure if my followers are still there. Knock, knock, anybody there??

Anyway, how was your 2008? Mine?

Nothing much to wow about. Is there any way I can tell the whole world that I have left teaching? Exactly how many people have I told that I was a teacher back then? And exactly how many did I missed out not updating? Not that I am irritated with friends who asked for updates, but I wonder how long do I have to continue to tell them "Erm, actually I have left and moved on since 2007..."

And holy cow, I hate 2009 already! Why? Because I just had my 28th birthday and if you look at my IC, would you think I just turned 28 or will you quickly do the Mathematics and conclude "she is 29."

UGH!!!!!!

2008 did not end on a good note.

First, I had overspent by almost 6x my average record and I am panicking on how I am going to clear that Citibank credit card bill...

Second, I had lost my soul for my job since I came back from Greece in November. Nothing fantastic happened, yeah, it is the first time I spent my birthday overseas and Athens decided to give me a surprise gift by a metro strike on my birthday. Yeah, there was no public train transport that day, we walked almost 4 stations. Not bad, it was a beautiful city. Remind me to write about Greece, I love and miss it.

Third, I am restless and want a change! Yes, again....

Someone asked me these two questions just before Christmas this year and left me with the most unhappy Christmas ever since I became aware of what this public holiday is about.

"Pau Ling, so are you happy? [waiting for my answer, I mumbled something...] Is this what you really want? [he caught me dumbfounded....]"

Yeah, that is it.

2008 left me unhappy, unsatisfied, lost and blind...

Why do we have desires? Why do we always wish that we know what we want and that we can get what we want? Why does time have to fly so fast? Why isn't there a time machine to bring us back to where we would want to start over a certain chapter? Why do we exist at all?

Guess these are difficult questions....

I think I am really restless. I have so many things on my new year resolution list:

1. I want to get that damned driving lesson by June this year!
2. I want to write a book to kick my imagination machine running again, it died on me years ago..
3. I want to learn a third language to keep myself entertained.
4. I want to learn cooking cos I can't go beyond preparing instant noodles.
5. I want to learn to play a musical instrument because I suddenly feel like wanting to write songs too.
6. I want to know the history of all the different civilisations around us. Religions too. Maybe go study history although the thought of sitting for exam is freaking me out big time.
7. I want to travel around the world because our pace of living is too fast, I wonder why we are always moving so fast for... Breathe in how other people live their lives, sip a cup of coffee, drink some red wine, wait for sun to set..
8. I want to start my own business although I do not know what I am good at so that I can leverage on it and make my passion my bread and butter.

A pretty long list, yea? Not in the right order of priority, but of course that driving license is top on the list.

I was thinking if I should really start writing something... with me being so long-winded, I bet no one will have the patience to finish reading through anything I penned down.

Ha!

If you made it through to this point, I want to say "Thank You" for bearing with my whiny and pessimistic thoughts.

I am just not coherent now. But I thought it is time I update my blog.

To all my ex-students: Sorry Miss Tan is way off from the usual chirpy self. Don't be like me okie? You should be happy that you are growing another year wiser instead of dreading that school is going to start soon.

Ok, I shall go figure out my thoughts and bounce back to be a responsible and cheerful girl soon!

Love all of ya and of course missing you too!