I used to look forward to Thursday because Friday will be the next day and I can have my weekend to relax....
I don't know why but I feel extremely blue this morning. Probably it is because of the rain.. well.. maybe not, I don't know.
A colleague from the next department had left the company yesterday and is starting her new work today. I went out with WL last night and I slept at 1am. So, basically I am pretty tired now.
People had been asking me how is my new job, do I like it, how are you coping, do I enjoy it etc since the first day I stepped in. I don't know if that is the way they show concern and willingness to help newbies or is it that they are preparing me for the storm ahead.
Actually, I am feeling very uncomfortable with my current situation now. You know, just plain uncomfortable feeling which you can't really point your finger to the source of it.
Besides the fact that I can rest after work now (no need to mark worksheets anymore), during the day, the administration work that I am doing seems unclear and directionless and well, I feel meaningless. Maybe it is because I have not been given the bulk of the workload yet but I can't help myself comparing what I used to do and what I am doing now. Human beings are funny creatures. Uncle J's words kept popping into my mind. Come to think about it, his words are not always rubbish. You probably will need to reflect on what he said and well, maybe less than 50% of his advice is useful in the end.
I had promised myself that I would not return to school as a full-time teacher, which means I may consider being an adjunct teacher.
I had been urging myself to give myself more time to adapt to the new job, at least till I get my bonus beginning of next year (hehe..)
I felt very inspired by WL's new work! She is into event management and that was what I had wanted to do. In this new job, she gets to go overseas because the bulk of her company's business is international. I really envy her and I asked myself if I want that type of lifestyle..
Consider this:
1) I have NO experience at all for this industry...
2) The company seems extremely fast-paced, which in a way, is a little opposite of my current company. I can't stand the waiting time to get information from another person!
3) It will be like teaching, no free time after work, no fixed knock off time, no weekends maybe, little sleep when events are near - which also means it will be energy sapping
4) The big factor: PAY. Definitely, I would not be drawing the income that I am getting now.
5) It doesn't help when 30 is near the corner. It doesn't help when the hectic nature of the job means I would be seeing less of my bf and how can we ever find time to settle down?
6) Can energy sapping job be a long-termed committment job? I mean, if I do not like it and prefers to have a more stable job, I would really be 30 or beyond. Age is a big enemy. No experience, old female candidate - who would want to hire me in the end?
BUT, the lure is tempting.....
DAMN IT! Give us till next year ba... In the meantime, what else can I do besides to bury the urge and probably TRY VERY HARD to stay positive in the new job?
Big SIGH....
You are looking at..
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- Baldy
- I am a Scorpio, a true blue one, inside and out. You can find 75% of whatever characteristics of Scorpio on me.
2 comments:
pal, give yourself time. you need to get used to the world outside teaching and you need to get used to this new job, new environment, new pple... to be fair to yourself and the new co, give urself a few more months to try things out. maybe u will start to find meaning...
events are fun, but it has it's fair share of shit. u have to come prepared for the worst, if not, u gonna suffer. but then again, like wat i always believe in, if u dont try, u will never know! if this "trying" spirit is so strong for u, then at the end of the day, you will not even be bother by the factors u listed out. even though, after trying, things might not work out. still, u have tried and you will know it's something u wan or dont wan. so, ask yourself? how prepared for you for a new job? how much are u willing to give up? usually there are many factors, and each has a diff impact on diff person. u have to come to terms with yourself, pal =)
once u have made up your mind, go for it! no regrets! have faith in yourself!
u can do it! =)
Hey fren,
Trust me, I usually have good assessment of people.
You are a people person. You will probably find it VERY out of sorts dealing with machines and processes and facing computers whole day long. You need to interact.
In that aspect I understand you, because I am a people person too. When I went into R&D, that's when I started feeling aimless and purposeless.
Think about it.
Events may be a better suit, as you are dealing with people to get things done. But I agree it's energy sapping.
Anyway, like I said, I sense you are not totally done with teaching yet.
The beauty of teaching is the someday, you can rejoin the service and carry on where you left off.
It's pretty good for teachers to take a break and learn from things outside. You will be all the more enriched when you face your students again after a stint out.
It may be 3-4 years to pursue your dreams, before you consider teaching again, but i say...
GO FOR IT!
EXPLORE THE WORLD NOW! :)
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